No!!!!! I just wrote a whole rant in my blog and it disappeared...took me ages!!!! damn all of you!!!

Hola chicos!!!! I am so so bored at work today that I have decided to resurrect my blog (tragic i know!)... The only problem is i'm have been so underwhelmed today that i am now demoralised and can't now think of anything interesting to talk about (hence i'm prattling on like a right tool)!!! My only comfort all day has been my i-pod and even then some of my songs are dubious to say the very least, as anyone who knows me even vaguely will be able to confirm! At the moment i'm listening to the third movementof Mendelssohn's violin concerto in E minor....which has now ended...ah, and straight into Charles and Eddie - would i lie to you? You see what i mean about dubious songs? Only quarter of an hour to go now until i can go home... sooooo soooo close to ranting at the clock to go faster! And to think, i have the joy of a virtually identical day again tomorrow...except for the trauma of a 5 til 8 spanish class straight after work which i haven't yet done my homework for (as its so hard!!!)...damn! right, i'm off to flick bits of blue-tac at unsuspecting co-workers....tata

I have an embarassing secret.....now this may shock and dismay you all.... i am addicted to the new shakira song! in fact, i may buy the single....momma no!!!! it's worse...i have always liked her, i know the words to whenever, wherever in spanish (cough)....well i did at least... You know, just as i thouight i was getting a decent taste in new music (i even like the new automatic song -monster, and nelly furtado and the zutons!) this one just hits me like a ton of hip-jiggling pole-dancylicious latin bricks!!! i even have it as a ringtone, and that is shockin cause i save that for the proper cheese such as eurovision songs and tv themes (oh and classical, whoa, just too special)...

...on a separate note.. did anyone here busta rhymes new track? oh my god it is like wank on toast with a side of jizz.. and thats on the record!!!!!

You know, i thought i'd get annoyed that no-one comments (and therefore i assume no-one actually reads) on my blog but i'm not really. I quite enjoy the quiet comtemplation of it all....aaaahhhhhh.... As i'm sure most of you well know, i have enough pet hates and annoyances that, if i really want to, i could write practically a million words on each of a huge plethora of weird and slightly creepy subjects and pet hates! True enough, most of my comments are about new types of alcohol i've discovered or drink-realted issues, but some of them aren't quite as predictable eh? Damn....i've just walked away from the computer and now ahve nothin' to say, to make it worse i have alcohol munchies horrendously! -tata...

Please god, the prime minister, anyone....make me a sandwich that doesn't have friggin' mayonnaise on it! It ain't hard you know, and it saves on cost too! win win as far as i'm concerned!!! Plus, have you seen how mayonnaise is actually made, i mean REAL mayonnaise? Let me go out on a limb here and say that there is no way you would eat home-made mayonnaise in quite the quantities of the fake shite...definately not! Lets just say its not quite the non-descript harmless "sauce" it appears! Anyways, i would love to rant further but gotta crack on....tara

"It's like sucking on a greasy coin"....is it? what is?...Just a nice "Hannibalism" i like to refer to occasionally about how much iron is in brain meat... which brings me incredibly fakely and contrived to the fact that i am currently reading silence of lambs and am not quite sure how to take it yet! As the cliche goes, when you come back from watching titanic, "did it sink then?"... you just shrug your shoulders and shoot a god awful dirty look at the dillweed who said it (usually a parent or a relative who clearly thinks they're amusing)... What am i on about you might be thinking, well.... I feel totally the opposite about the book to what i talked about above. Having watched the silence of the lambs dozens of times (amazin' int it!!!???) i settled down to reading the book in the hope that it would be easy to follow...but that is not the case. The only way i can explain it is this: It's like reading through a mister men book, say, erm... Mr Happy; and then turning to the very last page of the book only to find out that he is fact a manic depressive and that the smile is all just a sham!!! True, the basic story of silence of the lambs is very similar to the film created from it, but the writing technique and forms of dialogue used are worlds apart! For a start, i always got the impression that Clarice Starling was a bit prudish, maybe hadn't had a boyfriend for a while and was quite easily embarassed...Hell no! She's rude, keeps thinkin' dirty-ass thoughts and swears like a bitch! What is that about!!! Plus she doesn't come across anywhere near as clever in the book as in the film... Again, as well, there is that classic thing whereby the film misses out vital parts of the book to keep time down...worst seen in lord of the rings and apparently, the last harry potter too... Anyway, i'm not too sure about Thomas Harris's writing style yet but i'm assured hannibal is well worth the read....

Have you ever had mystery illnesses the likes of which hit you so unxepectedly and you haven't got the foggiest how or why they got you? I have my personal answer....karaoke! yes, i'm convinced of this! I did karaoke for the first time in yonks on monday and "oh, whats this?" i get an evil throat infection come fever on the thursday morning that i am still suffering from now.... it has all but ruined my viewing of the australian open and the test match!!! When will this cycle of illness/hayfever/illness/hayfever end? someone please step up to the plate (preferably someone called fleming or pasteur) and rid the world of this phenomenon!!!! Perhaps a tonsilectomy may be in order?

I haven't had a comment for weeks now and i'm starting to get quite dispondent!!! Does no one want to take me up on my previous blog's offer? Or has anybody read it at all!!!???...sob sob bawl...I have a startling and frankly shocking admission to make which may leave some of you creeped out and thoroughly disgusted by me.....I've started using a thimble at work! yes, it IS true! I'm so ashamed of myself! Lets face it, it's the next logical step in my stationery obsession...i want a label maker next..ooh!!!! Does anybody else use Tipp-Ex mice? (or is it mouses?)...They are wonderful!!!! Plus i practically wet myself when my new staple remover and blue clip wallets came!!! If you have a similar problem there is a website you can contact... www.getoffyourlazyfatarseandgetahobby.com and a helpdesk buysomethingusefulwithyourmoneylikedrink@getoffyourlazyfatarseandgetahobby.com.... they are a constant companion and help through my addiction....sob...

Ok...i'm gonna do a bit of a test....but first something completely different.... Its time to refill........................................ah, all done... I'm on La mumbas today, if you like chocolate you'll love them (ask and i'll mek ya one)....Ok anyways, i want to talk about my favurite words... Everyone has at least one favourite word or am i wrong? I for one at the moment have three favourite words and have done for quite a while (well actually i have four but i cant remember one, its some kind of obscure literal or grammatical term, answers on a postcard please)...my three are:

Guanine - Such a grotesque word if said in the correct tone and with a certain anunciation that it becomes comical and jovial despite being a DNA base with what looks like a slightly altered tryptamine group in it... The anunciation in question i like to call the "Bahia" effect and i won't get into that quite now!

Infundibulum - Doesn't it just slide of your tongue like a strip of velcro!!!??? Very useful for alliteration too! The incredibly irritated infundibulum irked the irrational idiot...ooooohhhhhh....so good.... it is, in fact, a generic term for a narrow passageway within the body...i think someat to do with the kidney and ovaries normally? postcard again....

Lech....(although techincally not a word...lecherous is the word)... To be "a lech" or to "lech on someone is just such an excellent term!!!!! great stuff!!! so darkand yet so comical!

anyways, if you have been listenin, first one to answer with a comment asking for a drink, i will buy or make you a lovely cocktail as soon as....tara a bit...

Europe is dead! Long live the commonwealth... Saturday night was the last straw! Not only did eurovision class with the prince's trust pary in the park (yes, i do blame you EBU...i can tell you're anti-inationalist) but the "winners" of euorvision were fooking shite!!!! A number of things to consider here methinks.....

1.) The song was not even good of it's genre. I like many a well thought out rock song and this was NOT well thought out!
2.) The song was in no way in keeping with the spirit of eurovision.

I do however, have a slight wry smile (well it's inside my head anyway) about the whole thing; let me explain why....

I have always been under the impression that europe (the organisation, not the place) stands more or less for the dilution of national traits, characteristics and traditions for the formation of one big insipid monoculture. am i wrong? This song has, if anything, demonstarted that europe is maybe not quite so easy to dilute as the Haage had hoped.

That said, the polictical victory scored just does not compare to the importance of my viewing pleasure!!! shame on you all!!!! I for one voted for romania (and norway, the song was preddy)

oh, and sorry for the sentence structure and grammar...too annoyed!!!!

It's all a facade of a sham of a facade of a lie!!!!!! Woe is me and all that surrounds me!!!!!! Goodbye cruel world...Adieu...Adieu...Adieu...

See, i always knew i could be melodramatic, perhaps i could be the next Ian Mckellan, Christopher Lee or even, wait for it, the new Brian Blessed!? Or perhaps a poet? Lets have a crack...

There was a young man from Nantucket.....

no, no, that's for too lyrical and jovial...

Untitled (a modern-day poem in unconfined stanza)....

The final floundering remnants of the full moon's light begins to disappate as the dew-laden entrance becomes ajar, then; further still, the mighty oak creeks wearily upon it's decorated corpse to reveal the cavernous expanse within, and "whack!" the means of escape has disappeared in a spark of brimstone and fire. The silent, foul atmosphere and the ominous sheer faces imposing upon an already weaken heart begin to apply pressure that is difficult to bare.
The mountainous tiers of blinding white which dominate the space in an tyranny of claustrophobic oppression against which few have survived unaltered...


you know, this is well difficult, i havent got the time to carry on so i'll leave it there for now!!! The present and past become so blurred...horrible!!!